Growing pains: Conversations on mental health and the beginning of the spring semester

By Alice Adams and Marisa Garreffa

The first year abroad experience is filled with different firsts for everyone; for some, it’s the first time living away from home, for others, the first time traveling abroad, and for nearly everyone, the first year of college. And now, it’s time for the first thoughts of what it might mean when the first year comes to an end!

We’ve been here for over a full semester, and the Florentine honeymoon phase may be ending, too. Maybe coming back after the holidays it’s gotten harder to adjust when we thought it would get easier; maybe the chasms of contrast between here and home dominate our days, and maybe the stress of school is overwhelming.

FFE students are beginning to think about what’s still on their Florence to-do list, as soon they’ll be headed back home. Our first year Bachelor’s students are facing the thought that soon their FFE friends will leave, while they’ll remain here to face their second year as a smaller, more independent group. Big feelings and new challenges abound!

While it’s bittersweet to think about leaving this city and so many people behind, the true fruits of our labor will be reaped when we apply all of the wonderful knowledge and experiences that we’ve gained with renewed purpose and fresh eyes.

– First year Sascha Hsin

Exploring the world is valuable not just for the amazing things you’ll see, but for the process of learning how to balance the new experiences with the pain of growing. No one is immune to this, but it does get easier.

Difficult feelings don’t disappear just because you’re standing before the Duomo in the Tuscan Spring or looking out over the Arno under a pink sunset. The first year away from home is the scariest. But it is a gift to be able to do so: leaving means seeing something new, growing into yourself and all you’ll be able to achieve, and perhaps even better, it means getting to go home, over which there is no superior feeling.

I spoke with Student Services Coordinator Marisa Garreffa on the topic of facing evolving challenges while abroad. She’s a vocal proponent of dialogues surrounding mental health, and she’s here to help.

Moving here was a huge adjustment at first, but created an environment where the only option was to grow and learn how to be independent. It takes a while to find your place (as it does anywhere), but having the opportunity to build your own community and create a life that’s completely your own is totally worth it.

– Anonymous

SSC Marisa Garreffa on mental health and studying abroad

Self-care is not a stand-alone fix to pressure and stress. It should be one element in a complex network of support systems that includes community care – taking care of each other, but knowing when the limits of that have been reached. That can be extra challenging in the Spring semester, when we start to think about how our community will soon change once the First Year is over.

Around this time the novelty of living in a new place has worn off, the reality of how much you miss your base community can hit pretty hard, and whether you’ll be staying on for more studies in Florence or going back to Poughkeepsie, your community is about to change form once again.

It’s important to learn to tag in and tag out of having contact with your support network back home, and asking, what is the support network I’ve started to build in Florence? Which one will form my future community, based on my next steps?

For some students, this is exciting, because maybe they’re really enjoying the change from everything familiar back home. They’re happy to be with these new people and new communities they’ve found.

For other students, they miss home and they think, oh, that’s where I feel really seen and really supported. And when I’m in Florence, it’s just a little harder for me to find my people.

Wherever you’re feeling the best with your community, these can be important emotional hurdles, so I definitely want students to be thinking about self care, and at the same time, I also want them to be reflecting on what community care means to them.

How can I reach out to the community that will be there for my next steps, and nourish and strengthen those bonds? And how can I spend quality time with the community that I might have to leave behind, honouring those friendships and the memories we’ve made, while preparing to transition to living in different places?

Sometimes you realize that while you’ve created a new home studying abroad, it’s still okay to miss the place you once called home. As time passes you notice you no longer refer to your hometown as ‘home;’ it’s a place that holds precious memories but also a place that you’ve outgrown.

– Junior Brennda Melo

What can students do for each other while not draining themselves?

Have grace with each other. When everybody’s feeling very stressed, we’re not always at our best. Have a lot of grace with each other, because not everyone will be at their best in this moment. At the same time, be very direct and honest about any issues that are coming up between each other without being judgemental. This is part of developing healthy relationships and communication in shared living. Not avoiding the things that are coming up for so long that when we finally mention it, we explode. Find a compassionate understanding, a way to talk about it. So a lot of grace, then a lot of sincerity and directness, delivered with compassion and understanding.

Have boundaries. Boundaries are not about trying to control each other. It’s about, for example, setting aside time for quiet hours or time to cook with the music on. Being able to communicate our needs, being able to ask for them, and being able to say, ‘maybe I’m going to step out.’ Being able to set some of those boundaries goes hand in hand with being sincere and direct. Let’s be sincere and direct with each other about what we’re experiencing, about what we need, and look at collaborative solutions.

What are your recommendations for setting up a well rounded support network and reconnecting with the one you have at home?

Make a little map of who your social network is here. Sometimes I make a list of all the people that I can reach out to, because when I’m feeling very stressed and upset, I tend to forget all the people that I could potentially reach out to. One for my community here in Florence and one for my community back home. They both exist and are growing, and they’re made up of many people. And of course, your Student Services Coordinator Marisa is here as a resource! When you need help, I can offer guidance, and if you’d like, help you to get in contact with mental health professionals.

Traveling across the world takes such courage and confidence in yourself and it can be scary, especially doing it alone. You are separated from the things you have always been surrounded with, and although everything is exciting, it is easy to feel lonely. In these moments, try to turn these feelings into something positive. Loneliness may be intimidating, but it is also an opportunity to explore yourself. Viewing being by yourself in a place like this as a rare and lucky thing is what turns it into growth! In the end, this loneliness is so temporary, but for me it is now something I can be grateful for.

– Junior Jennifer Cabrera

What are some other recommendations for the semester to keep stress levels low?

We know that nature can be a little bit tricky to access, so we try to encourage visiting some green space when we can find it. Visit the beautiful gardens of Florence, especially as the Spring days will be coming soon.

Make a plan. Know that you have to pack your bag for the end of year, tick off the last “bucket list items,” buy those gifts for people back home, and all those kinds of things. Map when you’re going to do them so that you’re not overwhelmed. Make a realistic list of everything you’d like to get done and make sure you’ve spaced it up a little bit so you don’t end up in a panic right before the first year ends.

Look forward to the first week back of your second year! It’s going to be a whole new adventure, and that’s worth getting excited about. Don’t forget to be enthusiastic about looking forward, while an important and brilliant adventure is coming to an end.

Why is self-care so important?

Nobody knows you like you know yourself. Others can’t tell if you’re approaching the limit of your ability to cope. Nobody else knows these things intimately like you do, and the best thing you can do is develop that relationship with yourself.

Self-care is code for ‘I know myself. I listen to myself, and when I receive information that I’m not coping, that I’m overwhelmed and stressed, that I need to adjust, I say yes to myself.’ We push through so often that we might hear the signs, but our answer is often no. Self-care is making time to say yes to the signals that you are giving yourself. Nobody else can do it for you. You’re in the driver’s seat.

How can students take care of themselves, mentally, emotionally, and physically during the stressful end of the school year, especially during exams – what are some things that people might forget about?

Drink more water than you think you need to. Go to the bathroom. Eat something healthy, something nourishing. In between the snacks and the caffeine and the sugar, eat some fruit, have a salad, some vegetables, because those things help your mind stay awake, alert and nourished. Go for a walk. Rest properly if you can. Put an emphasis on getting enough sleep so that when you study you’re absorbing everything. Move your body.

What are some of the underrated benefits of taking care of yourself?

Realizing what kind of people I want to be around – when I treat myself well, that sets a standard for how I like to be treated. I spend more time around people who genuinely make me feel good, make me feel loved, make me feel seen and appreciated with who I can be myself. That came from me having that positive relationship with myself.

Do you have any final notes?

If you have time, take a moment to reflect on the growth that’s already happened in the first year, because it’s been a huge growth curve arriving almost fresh out of high school in a foreign country; everything being new, taking responsibility for your schedule and study. You might not have realized how much you have achieved and how many new skills you’ve gained. If you get a moment, maybe take a little reflection time and let yourself notice how much you’re growing, and be really proud of that. It might even help you make a few last goals for your first year here, in line with the values of the new person you’ve become.

What is a common form of growth that happens in the first year?

Courage to take control of your lives. Courage to take the lead. When you’re underage, it makes perfect sense. There are other people there to do everything for you. A lot more courage starts to emerge after that first semester, because you’ve got proof that you can try new things, and it doesn’t all end terribly. And now you’ve got the rest of the Spring semester to use all that courage to enjoy it and get the most possible out of your time here!